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“Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me? . . . Feed my sheep.” – John 21:17

Peter loved Jesus. He was a genuine follower. Jesus had transformed him from an average, worldly fisherman to a saint and pioneer of the new kingdom God was about to build. However, Peter still had his struggles. He was often stuffing his foot into his mouth. Once he brazenly rebuked Jesus – never a good idea. As bad as that was, it wasn’t the worst. The day he totally blew it was when he denied his Lord. Sweet Jesus: the one who found Peter lost in his sins, who brought him on board the Great Mission as leader of the disciples; the pure, humble teacher healer who had come to Israel, the gentle lamb who was hated, wrongfully arrested, being beaten, about to be crucified. At that very moment, when Peter (of all moments!) should have been there for his friend and Lord, warming his hands by the fire, he repeatedly denied him, with cursing! He had given in to embarrassment, fear and betrayal. He instantly knew it too. All it took was one look from the Lord and he knew he had sinned a great sin. He wept bitterly. Peter was crushed because he had crushed his friend in his greatest hour of need. He also let down his other friends who he was supposed to be leading. What was he good for now?  

How about you, Peter? Every Christian sins, but perhaps in your case it seems like you have sinned a particularly grievous sin in a uniquely corrupt way. Some sins seem tolerable – like perhaps gluttony, or gossip, or materialism – but other sins truly seem to reveal your depraved heart, like adultery, pornography, rage, violence, drunkenness/drug abuse, idolatry or theft: the kinda stuff that many unbelievers don’t even participate in. Maybe you have fallen into a great sin as a genuine follower of Christ. Or, maybe you have given in to “little” sins so repeatedly that they have caused big problems for yourself and those around you. Maybe you feel like God could never forgive you, or, if he would forgive you he certainly would not use you in any special way. Maybe your reputation has been tarnished? Perhaps, like Peter, you may even feel like giving up, out of respect for the Lord, not desiring to dishonor him anymore…

We do seem to get the indication that Peter was giving up. He went back to fishing (John 21:3), back to who he was and what he had done before he met the Lord. He probably thought, “The Lord gave me this wonderful gift and calling, and I let him down. I failed. I guess I’ll default back to who I used to be.” The temptation after failing is to give up: to revert back to who you used to be, and to do what you used to do before you knew Jesus. You begin to think more about secular pursuits than the ministry God has called you to; to make church attendance and involvement less of a priority; to replace personal worship and study of the Word with other hobbies; to replace sacrificial giving to the Gospel with other financial priorities, etc.

How did this turn out for Peter and the others? “They caught nothing” (John 21:3). Remember when Peter met Jesus? That was also a day where he “caught nothing,” meaning a day when not only were his nets empty, but his soul was also empty. His life was void of ultimate meaning and purpose. It’s no accident that as professional fishermen they caught nothing this new day as well. It was on purpose, for the Lord to show him that he wouldn’t find anything genuinely meaningful compared to Christ if he were to go back. 

Don’t go back. Don’t give up. Why? Because you really can’t go back. You are different. You’ve been born from above. You’re a new creation in Christ. You’re sheep not swine. It can’t be the same. You may give up on pursuing Christ and working in the ministry, but whatever idol you put in the place of Christ is not going to satisfy you. You have tasted the heavenly gift and the powers of the world to come. The Holy Spirit lives in you! You’ll never be blessed unless you pick yourself up and begin to pursue Christ afresh! 

He’s Not Done With You

Thankfully, Jesus was not done with Peter. In fact, the glory that Peter had experienced over the first 3 years with Jesus was nothing compared to the glory that Peter was yet to experience with his Lord for many years to come! 

Jesus came to Peter in the sweetest way. As they were fishing, catching nothing, Jesus appeared on the shore, beckoned to them to throw the net on the other side causing them to enclose a massive catch of fish. This is reminiscent of when Jesus first revealed his desire to call these disciples – perhaps symbolic of re-calling them again to discipleship. Jesus was already on the shore making a meal. As they approached him there was the sweet smell of baked bread and fish being fried over the fire. Jesus greeted them with an invitation to “come and dine” with him. This initial meeting with Jesus could have been much different, right? Jesus could have hunted Peter down and wrathfully rebuked him, or punished him in some way. Think about it… or, perhaps worse: Jesus could have just given up on Peter and never returned to him or communicated with him again and left him to wallow in his regrets. But no. There is no one like Jesus. Think about the worst thing you have ever done to someone. The next time you saw them face to face were they preparing you a feast, desiring to share a meal with you? If so, praise the Lord for that person, but most likely that did not happen. 

The reality is, that no matter what you have done – to the Lord or anyone else – Jesus is waiting for you to come to him. Not to come crawling over broken glass to be punished forever for what you have done. He wants to fellowship with you. He wants t oconfirm his love for you and his commitment to work his plan out in your life. He knows your broken heart, regret, and your shame for what you have done. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is nigh to the broken hearted,” and Psalm 51: 17 says, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” It’s hard to accept how gentle and forgiving his heart is towards us. We beat ourselves up over our sins. Other people treat us very harshly over our sins, but Jesus doesn’t do this. He was beaten on our behalf; mocked, shamed, killed. He wants it in the past and he is looking to the future. 

After seeing Jesus present himself to Peter in this reconciling manner, we get to the heart of the whole situation. As the finish the meal Jesus asks Peter a question, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love me?” Wow. What a question! He could have said, “Simon, why should I forgive you,’ or ‘Why should I let you follow me?” But, no, he’s looking forward, not backward. Remember: Jesus knows everything. This question was not for Jesus, but for Peter. Deep down Peter knew that he loved the Lord, but up to this moment, in his won mind, I’m sure that his internal dialogue was all self condemnation. “How can you say you love the Lord when you sided with his murderers?” Jesus was pulling from deeper down in the well of Peter’s soul. He was leading Peter to recall his true self, which was genuine love for Jesus.

Just because you have sinned doesn’t mean that you don’t love Jesus. “A just man falleth seven times, but he rises up again” (Proverbs 24:17). Righteous men fall. Christians sin. Our love is not determined by whether or not we sin, but what we do with our sins. Unbelievers make excuses for their sins, the care less whether they have offended the Lord or not, they certainly don’t confess their sins and repent of them, and they don’t fear God’s chastening in their lives. But if you are a genuine believer, you do all of those things. You are guilty over your sins, you’ve probably already confessed them, your striving to overcome them, and it tears you up that you have offended your Lord and hurt other people. This means that you love Jesus!!!

Do you remember how you first came to Jesus, who you were when he called you? He didn’t call you because you were righteous. He called you because he had a plan for you. Thankfully, his plans have not changed: Romans 11:29, “For the gifts and calling of God are without repentance.” So, if you love him, feed his sheep – continue striving to be what he has called you to be and continue doing what he has called you to do. What a wonderful Savior we have – he wastes nothing and recycles every fault and weakness of his followers! You do not dishonor Jesus by serving him after you sin. He didn’t come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. You do honor him by exemplifying the Gospel: continually repenting of your sins and coming to Christ alone for forgiveness. 

  One last note on Peter: at the end of their conversation Jesus revealed to Peter that not only would he persevere in his faith, but that he would also in the end give his life for Jesus, which, according to tradition Peter requested to be crucified upside down because he didn’t feel worthy to die in the same manner as his Savior. In response, Peter asked what was going to happen with John. Jesus didn’t answer his question but rather said to him, “follow me.” This is interesting to me. Jesus was lazer focused on his relationship with Peter, having a most intimate conversation with him, and what is Peter doing? He’s wondering about John and what is going to happen with him. Don’t be so focused on other people – what they are doing or what they think about you, or how you appear to other people. Focus on your relationship with Christ, what he thinks about you, and what he has called you to do. The path for every Christian looks different. Embrace yours. 

“Father, I pray for whoever may be reading this, that they would have a deep abiding peace and relief that you have forgiven them of their sins and that you still desire to use them in special ways. Help them to see that your power and glory is easier seen through broken vessels than “whole” ones. Reinvigorate a lasting desire for the things of heaven than the things of the earth. Grant them wisdom, power, grace and faith to fully overcome and break free from their besetting sins, and to have full liberty in heart and mind as they serve you. Amen.”