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Heresy Hypocrisy – Labeling Others “Heretics”

/ Lee A. Robinson / 1 Comment

Sometimes . . . Sometimes some Christians are a little too trigger happy dropping the H-Bomb on other believers. Some Christians feel that anyone who disagrees on basically any point of doctrine or practice with them automatically needs to be branded as an Heretic. This is, unfortunately, very egregious and also ironic: egregious because it’s essentially categorizing a fellow Christian saint as worse than an unbeliever, and ironic because those most often shooting the heresy arrows are the ones closest to actually committing heresy themselves (I’ll explain more a little later). As always, we must first go to the Scriptures to understand what heresy actually is, then we will understand who the heretics really are. Hopefully as a result of reading this you will be more reluctant to drop the heresy bomb on fellow Christians…

What is heresy? 

The New Testament idea of heresy has reference to sectarianism (sect, separatist), factions (cliques) or dissensions (disagreements that lead to discord). The term is used mostly in reference to “sects” among Judaism. The Pharisees and Sadducees are both seen as “sects” in the Jewish community. Paul was accused of being “the ringleader of the sect of the Nazarenes (Acts 24:5),” which in the beginning the Church was simply seen as a new wing of Judaism. Peter made pretty clear his understanding of heresy when he warned, “But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.” (2 Peter 2:1) In Peter’s mind, heretics are those who sneak into the church, wolves in sheep’s clothing, with selfish ambition, who teach doctrines and encourage practices that damn people to Hell. Paul instructed Titus, “A man that is an heretic (αἱρετικός factious; divisive) after the first and second admonition reject…” (Titus 3:10) Heretics are fake Chrisitians who make it their career to be division-makers or schismatics among the true people of God.

Moving to a more standard, common English usage of the word heresy would be: beliefs or opinions contrary to orthodox religious (especially Christian) doctrine; dissension, non-conformity. This conveys more of the idea I think that most people are working with today. So according to this definition, heresy is a belief or opinion that is contrary to Christian Orthodoxy. Well, how do we know what orthodoxy (or, right doctrine) is? A simple way is to just ask: what are the doctrines & practices which virtually all evangelical, Bible-believing Christians have agreed on historically and are in agreement with today? In answering that question, we will compile a list that looks very similar to this one – Belief that the Bible is the Word of God; God is our Creator; God is Triune; Jesus is fully God and fully Man; the Virgin birth; The Gospel: the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Chist; Salvation is by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone; We must be baptized, join the church, observe the Lord’s Supper, and do our best to fulfill the Great Commission as we obey the Great Commandments of loving God with our whole heart and our neighbor as ourselves…Heretics are people who despise this way of life that I just outlined; they really want to change it, attempt to pull away as many others away from it as they possibly can, and then they draw a circle around their group and call it “orthodoxy.” 

When we combine the Biblical idea with the English understanding we have a pretty clear understanding that heretics are posers, fakers, who are peddling doctrines or practices that, if followed, will cause the hearers to perish. The goal of the heretic is not to unify God’s people, but to intentionally divide them. They like to draw lines and circles in-between God’s people, and force people to choose sides. Examples of genuine heresy would be Roman Catholicism, Jehovah’s Witnesses or the Latter Day Saints (Mormons). Each of these groups arose from within true Christianity and began saying things like, “Unless you think like us and practice like us, you are not a true Christian. If you continue to hold to the doctrines that have been held by Christians for centuries and centuries (True Orthodoxy), then you are being deceived and will be condemned by God.” This is heresy. The person who you are calling a heretic – are you willing to place them in the same category as these guys? If not, then stop calling them a heretic. How about you just say that you don’t agree with “such and such” that they believe or practice? 

Unlike the cults, here are some examples of things that are NOT heresy, but are commonly labeled as heretical by some Christians…

  1. Church or Denominational affiliation – If a fellow Christian or Church is Bible-Believing and Evangelical (meaning, if they hold to the fundamentals of the faith: Christian Orthodoxy as outlined above), but they are not part of the same group as you, then they are NOT heretics. They may have doctrines or practices that are different from yours; they may even have wrong or weak positions, but that does NOT make them heretics.  
  2. Bible Versions – If a fellow believer is a Born-Again Christian, who confesses the same Gospel as you, but they use a different Bible version, they are NOT heretics. Even if we said for the sake of argument that their translation of choice is inferior to yours, this still does not make them heretics. What truths are they confessing? 
  3. Music or worship style – Let’s just say another Christian or Church has very poor music taste, and it’s even obvious that the emphasis of their corporate worship is sensual and worldly – this is still NOT heresy. 
  4. Calvinist/Arminian/Other – Let’s assume that there are some believers who are off in some way on their understanding of the infinite nature of God and the mysterious way in which God brings salvation to us (who among us can say that they have all of this figured out?). If our brother or sister is still confessing the One Triune God and that we must believe in Christ and Christ alone for salvation, then he or she is – guess what – NOT an heretic. 
  5. Dispensational/Covenant Theology – Someone may have an errant or weak view of the structure of Scripture, of history and of God’s relationship between Israel and the Church, but these things also do NOT make them an heretic.  
  6. Dress – Someone may even just outright dress immodestly, and not at all have a problem with it, but that also does NOT make them an heretic. 
  7. The same things could be said for those who hold balanced views of the charismatic gifts/those who do not, to different styles of preaching/evangelism, to those who have different forms of eschatology, etc. etc. etc. 

Christianity is really Big. Scripture describes the Church as a Nation. Within the borders of this nation (within Orthodoxy) is a broad range of beliefs and practices: there are various opinions on non-essential matters. With all of this diversity there are some beliefs and practices that are weak and others that are excellent. We can and should have brotherly, in-house discussions and disagreements on these topics, but at the end of the day we still are obliged by God to embrace one another, lock arms and then with a united spirit fight against anti-Christs and anti-Christianity wherever we find it. 

However… if instead of seeking unity you decide to huddle together in your little clique, draw an iron circle around yourselves and then build huge, fortified walls along those lines, thus boxing out the rest of the Christian Nation; then array yourselves on top of your walls to fire fiery heresy arrows at other Christians (especially those approaching your gates attempting to seek peace); then erect the flag of “Christian Orthodoxy” over your city; and only admit into membership those who submit to your particular rules and customs – – – My friend, YOU are the one playing footsie with Heresy. You are the one drawing lines and causing division; you are the one creating factions: smaller groups within the larger group; you are the one forcing believers to make a choice: “Be a part of this circle and be right with God, or don’t be a part of this circle and don’t be right with God, but you cannot be outside of this circle and be right with God at the same time.” If this is your heart and your practice, you are sipping from the same cup that “Christian” cults are, and it’s making you tipsy.  

If there is another brother who is a Born-Again, Bible-believing, humble, faithful Christian, who is simply trying to love God and serve God according to his conscience, but he disagrees with your particulars; if he dissents from your particularities – and you are labeling him as a heretic – you need to stop. You need to repent, confess that sin to God, and humbly return to your brother and confirm your love to him. You don’t need to agree with him, but you do need to learn how to disagree agreeably. Has Jesus received him? Then you need to receive him. “Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God.” (Romans 15:7) We are either for Christ or against Him. So are you really willing to say that such and such a brother is against Christ (an anti-Christ)?

Christian Perfection

/ Lee A. Robinson / Leave a comment

In Matthew 5:48 Jesus commanded his followers, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” So the question is, “Can a Christian be perfect?” The simple answer is, “Yes!” Jesus’s clear command is for us to be perfect. He’s not going to command his people to do something that they are not capable of doing. But not only is perfection possible, it is also the standard at which we must continually live as Christians. Perfection is possible, yes, but it is also the requirement. Anything less than perfection is unacceptable to God. The key idea in this article is understanding what is meant by perfection. It is clear that Jesus taught perfection, so let’s say it like it is, and then strive to come to a balanced understanding of what he means. 

Some people wrongly teach that a Christian can arrive at a state of spiritual maturity where they will never sin again, but this is an extreme, unbiblical position. We live in a fallen world, filled with wickedness, and we – though saints of the most High – still reside in fallen, fleshly bodies. As Christians we are washed in the blood of the Lamb, Amen! But our “feet get dirty” as we walk through this life and need to be washed often (John 13). Even the most godly Christians on the planet find themselves continually in this struggle between the flesh and the Spirit. In fact, it often seems the more holy a person truly is, the more unholy they feel, because they have a heightened sensitivity to the enormous standard of absolute holiness and perfection that God dwells in, and also their own spiritual weaknesses. 

But then there is another extreme, I believe, which is to lower the standard away from perfection, and conceive that God’s expectation for the Christian is just a little better than the world, or to live up to what the church or your family or friends expect. The misconception runs like this: “Perfection? Well, no one is going to be able to do that,” and then the person moves on without clearly defining how holy we need to be in order to please God. This is an error and has negative consequences as well as extreme forms of “Christian Perfectionism.” If the Christian doesn’t have a clear standard then they are going to make their own- what they think is holy enough – which is inevitably going to be less holy than the standard. So let’s see if we can arrive at a balanced, Biblical understanding of this topic…

What is the Standard? 

I want to press a little more on this, because I think many Christians are not willing to confess that perfection is the standard. Jesus said, “Be perfect,” so if that doesn’t mean perfection then what does it mean? Consider also 1 Peter 1:14-16 which says, “As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.” Here, the apostle Peter reminds us of God’s Law that we are to be holy as God is holy. Now, how holy is God? God is totally holy. So, again, the standard is absolute purity – a life in total dedication and consecration to God – anything less is sinful and unacceptable to God…Do you believe this? If we want to be right with God, we must make sure that we are doing and being what he says. Don’t be afraid of how some people abuse a doctrine. Confess it, open your heart, and ask God to teach you. 

How are we to understand Perfection? 

We know from all over Scripture that true righteousness is not attained by works or human effort, but rather by faith. The unbeliever must first recognize that they have already sinned and are worthy of Hell; that God’s standard for justification, for union with God, and for acceptance into heaven is total purity; and then they must realize that the only way to achieve that level of righteousness is by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone. It must be a righteousness that is not their own, an imputed righteousness (a righteousness that is applied to their moral account by someone outside of themselves). So righteousness, holiness, perfection and related qualities are NOT to be seen as achieved through human effort (at least not our own effort, but rather Jesus’s effort). We must understand Jesus’ teachings on Perfection in light of this fuller, more fundamental teaching of Scripture, about the way of righteousness & holiness – that of faith. Following Jesus’ command to “be perfect” does not mean that I am never going to sin again. What it does mean is that whenever I do sin, I quickly and humbly confess that sin to God and ask for cleansing with gratefulness to Jesus Christ for his all-sufficient blood that was shed for that sin. This is the foundation of perfection – having a broken heart about your sins, moment by moment; walking humbly with your God; not making any excuses for your sins, but quickly acknowledging and confessing. We could call this imputed holiness. It is a holiness, or perfection that comes to us from outside of ourselves. Yes, it does change us, but there is also an immediate sanctification that comes when a Christian is broken and repenting of their sins. 

Other ways that the word “perfect” in the New Testament could be translated would be that of “maturity” or “completeness.” This is helpful, because we can say that someone is mature, even though we know that in some way, shape or form they probably have some kinds of “imperfections” in their life. But, it may be objected, the standard is perfection from God’s perspective, not man’s perspective. I agree, and I think we’re getting at the heart of something here. There is at least some sense in which we can say that God would consider someone spiritually mature, even though He clearly knows that they are flesh and bones- weak and faulty, and will forever be less than God Himself. Perfection cannot mean equality with God in all of His divine attributes – or else we would be God! So, in what way would it be proper for God to see a man as being “mature” or “complete” even though he has imperfections, as compared with God?

King David

We remember verses in the Bible like the following, “and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father.” (1 Kings 15:3) God used David’s life as a standard or ruler by which to measure the success or failure of the kings that followed him. Buuuut, we know that David wasn’t all that great, on more than one occasion. So in what sense did God consider David a perfect man? What God was really looking for (perfection) was not that David would never sin, but rather that David was a man after God’s own heart. David loved God with all of his heart, and wanted to please Him more than anything else – and God could see that in him! Additionally, when David sinned and he was confronted about it, how did he respond? Just read Psalm 51 – David’s Psalm of Repentance. In this Psalm we find this powerful and related verse: “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.” (Psalms 51:17) God is not looking for people who He knows will never sin again. He is looking for people who never want to sin again, and for Christian who, when they sin, readily and humbly confess those sins. Perfection is not being a spiritual machine that constantly is on their knees praying, serving the poor, loving their wife, teaching their kids, displaying kindness and compassion, preaching a sermon, and working diligently at work all at the same time! Of course I am exaggerating, but there are some people (maybe even yourself) who live under a weight of thinking that God will only be happy with them if they were as powerful, wise, and industrious as God Himself is! 

As A Man Thinketh In His Heart So Is He

If we live this kind of life – a life where our heart’s desire is to wholeheartedly please God, and then when we find ourselves overwhelmed by sin and we quickly repent – what do you think is going to be the trajectory of that person’s spiritual life? Are they going to be thriving spiritually, or be wilting? Are they going to sin more or sin less as time goes on? We are never going to arrive at a perpetually and permanently sinless condition (not on this side of the grave anyway), but if we have a perfect heart towards God we will sin less.  

I also want to mention that we have to keep in mind the Biblical doctrine of Progressive Sanctification – which is the idea that when we are Born Again, we are not immediately, in every way totally perfected. Our standing with God is that of perfection (positional righteousness), but practically, the New Birth is just the beginning of a new spiritual life and relationship with God, in which we must grow spiritually. There are new Chrisitans, who know little of the Word, who must be weaned on the milk first. But the main thing to point out is that this idea of being perfect or not, in practice, begins at day one. Is the new believer obeying what they know? They may know little, and have little experience, but are they being faithful to God according to what they know? If so, they are walking perfectly before God. Contrarily, if an old timer in the faith is not walking humbly; has perhaps allowed some strongholds to form into his life; and has developed the ability to be somewhat calloused to it – this brother is not walking perfectly with God. He may be actually stronger than the newborn Christian in many areas of life, because of knowledge and experience, but this brother is not pleasing God as well as the younger, because he is not currently walking perfectly before God.   

God is expecting us to be sinless. Period. And the way to do that is by confessing any known sin, right now to God. His promise is that “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) God is faithful. If we repent and confess, then right now, we are sinless. If we truly have a humble heart like this, consistently, the natural outgrowth is that the actions themselves are going to follow. 

I hope this has brought you some clarity on this subject. I don’t claim to understand this doctrine perfectly, but I have not heard much spoken on it from a balanced perspective and haven’t heard explanations that give a satisfactory answer to what Jesus’ idea of perfection is, while at the same time to caution against extremes on both sides of the issue. It is impossible to please God if you are half-hearted. He wants your whole heart.

The Common Faith

/ Lee A. Robinson / Leave a comment

“To Titus, mine own son after the common faith.” (Titus 1:4)

Paul was ultimately a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ, but his ministry of evangelism, discipleship, church planting/establishing was not an island unto itself. Rather, it was “in accordance with the faith of God’s elect.” (Titus 1:1) Paul’s calling was from God, his anointing was from God, his orders were from the Lord Jesus; but all of it was designed to be carried out within the context of the Church – “the faith of God’s elect.” As he addressed this letter to Titus he begins by saying, “To Titus, mine own son after (according to) the common faith.” Paul was unique, special, and set apart, but the message he was preaching, and the churches he was building was not a particular brand or sect of The Faith, but his service was rather among all of God’s people – the faith which was common to all of God’s elect. In this article I would like to explore what is meant by the phrase, “the common faith,” and how we can apply that knowledge to how we minister in the world today? 

The word “common” here is the greek word koinos (κοινός), which means shared by all. The word is used in both a negative and a positive way. Negatively, it is the idea of unclean, defiled, or profane, whether physically or spiritually. If we think of a “common bath” that is “shared by all” then we get the idea. In the Jewish mind, any belief or practice of worship that was not unique to Yahweh and according to His Law were considered “unclean” or “common,” and therefore sinful. When Peter saw the vision of the heavenly sheet with various kinds of meat which were forbidden by the Law of Moses, the Lord told him to rise and eat, but Peter said, “Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is common or unclean.” That which is sacred is pure, special, unique and holy, because it is in union with God and separate from the world and other false religious systems. A special faith is one that is not base or ordinary. In this sense a “common faith” would be a bad thing, it would be a faith that is shared by everyone and would be based on the least common denominator of beliefs and practices that are shared by all. 

But here in Titus the word is used in the positive sense, meaning, that the faith is communal –  the invitation into this faith is offered to all; acceptance into the faith is granted to all who repent and come through Jesus; all of the benefits of this faith are equally accessible to all, etc. “The Faith” of Christianity is not a faith only for Jews, or men, or priests, or the rich, or the intelligent. It is not a faith which is reserved to a particular camp, or sect among the Christian church either. The Faith is common to all who are in it. Christ is shared as Savior and Lord equally by all. The Spirit knows no denominational boundaries. The Bible, and it’s correct interpretation is not retained by one particular school of thought. 

The major point of emphasis which jumps out to me about these verses is that Paul identified himself with The Faith which was common to all of God’s elect. His vision was not to minister only among churches that he started, or only among churches that were “Pauline” or “Gentile” or “Asian.” He saw himself as part of a Body that included all of the apostles, all of the prophets, all of the nations, all ethnicities, all languages; all the different kinds of people in the world, with all of the differences and difficulties that arise from having this mix. I think too often in the Evangelical, Bible-believing, Born-Again Christian world, too many believers focus their identity more on their denominational identity rather than simply on the faith that is common to all of God’s elect. It is “cleaner” that way. We have our particular flavor and style and kind that we all like, and we can serve Jesus together in this way. But what this does is rob us from showing the power of the cross and the glory of the Gospel to reconcile all things to Himself. In environments that are highly focused on their own distinctives there tends to be an emphasis more on the superficial rather than on the heart of what we truly have in common.

What is common to all true Christians? Without getting too much in depth here, (I am planning to write on this more particularly, and to cite all of this with support) I think it would suffice to simply state that mostly all believers pretty much already know what is common to us all: every Christian believes that Jesus is God in the flesh, who died on the cross for all of our sins. He rose from the dead and ascended back into heaven. He gives eternal life and the gift of the Holy Spirit to anyone and everyone who repents and trusts in Him as Savior. He is our Lord whom we ought to obey. All of this is in accordance with the Word of God, which we have been born again by: which we love, and confess is the Word of God, which we live by. What kinds of practices are common to all born again Christians? We gather for worship; we sing praises to God; we share communion together; we preach the gospel and teach the believers the Word of God; we strive to live holy lives and to obey the Word of God. These beliefs and practices are the common faith. This is not a comprehensive list, and there may be variation and nuance in the way we understand and practice these things, but all of this is the foundation and heart of what it means to be a Christian. It is not to say that we cannot have variations among us – that is healthy and is to be expected. But we should not see the things that make us different as things that make us any more special to God or superior to others. The things which are truly foundational and essential are things that are shared by us all. 

May the Lord be pleased to lead us into all truth, and at the same time to love and embrace all of God’s true children who are humbly seeking after Him.  

“Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints.” (Book of Jude, verse 3)

“Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God.” (Romans 15:7)

How Are The Mighty Fallen!

/ Lee A. Robinson / Leave a comment

When David received news that King Saul was killed in battle, he “took hold on his clothes, and rent them.” (2 Sam. 1:11) Then David wrote a song – a funeral dirge – in honor of him. If you are not familiar with the story of Saul and David this may sound normal, but if you remember the story of Saul & David, this sounds unthinkable! David, writing and singing a song in honor of Saul!? The Saul who rebelled against the LORD and refused to obey Him? The Saul that tried to fasten David’s body to the wall with his spear – on more than one occasion? The Saul that ran David out of Israel, raised a national slander campaign against him, and caused many in Israel to disdain him? The Saul that didn’t give David his rightful wife, and then later took away David’s wife and gave her to another man? The Saul that persistently tried to hunt David down to kill him around Israel? The Saul that David could have killed on multiple occasions, but spared his life, and then that same Saul still continued to seek his life? The Saul that turned demonic and sought familiar spirits because the LORD left him? The Saul that tried to kill his own son, David’s best friend (Jonathan)? 

Saul was David’s worst enemy. He made David’s life miserable for many, many years (I’m not sure how long, but I think it was at least 10 years, maybe 15 years?). Yet, in Saul’s death, David chose to honor him, and to encourage others to honor him. How would you have felt about Saul if you were David? How would you have spoken about him at his funeral? I think that most people if they were David would have killed Saul at the first opportunity they received. Most would have rejoiced at Saul’s death. Most people would have publicly used Saul as an example of God’s just judgment on someone who is in disobedience and rebellion. But David did not do any of this. He honored Saul. This is the heart of what I would like to relay from this story: we should be people of honor. We should do our absolute best to highlight the good about other people, and choose to keep silent about their shortcomings. Titus 2:8 says that we should have “Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.” 

In David’s lamentation, he called Saul “the beauty of Israel.” “Saul and Jonathan were lovey and pleasant in their lives…they were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions.” He reminded the people of Saul’s accomplishments and the good things that he had done for Israel. Again, you can look back and easily recount the bad things Saul did – raising taxes on people, robbing families of their youth so they could serve in his army, sacrificing the good of the nation so he could search after David, etc. But David chose to honor Saul. 

How do you speak about your parents? Do you murmur and complain about them or do you intentionally highlight the good they have done for you? How about your teachers or pastors? Or your superiors at work? Or the leaders of your state/country? You say, “They are not godly.” Neither was Saul. “Well, they haven’t done anything worth being honored for.” Are you sure about that? Everyone has some kind of redeeming quality to them – especially those who are amidst the people of God. “They sinned and God punished them, we should point out this lesson to the world.” Do you think the people of Israel didn’t know about Saul’s disobedience and the consequent judgment on him? God doesn’t need us to speak evil of people in order to get the lesson across. 

Are there Christian leaders who fall? Yes, but be very careful about quickly, and freely speaking evil of them. If we follow David’s example we will publicly highlight the good that came out of their lives. Can God shoot straight shots with a crooked arrow? Whatever it was in David that felt compelled to highlight Saul’s goodness, I want that in me. I’m sure David received a lot of flak for honoring Saul. People probably charged David with evil for honoring Saul, but he did the right thing. 

None of this is to say that we should overlook sin – we should never do that. All sin should be confronted and dealt with. There are also consequences for sin that should not be disregarded. But the focus here is on how you personally process someone’s life who has done evil, and how you speak of them publicly. I hope you take David’s course of action, which is to honor that person. 

Have we not all done evil? How do we want our reputation to be in public? How do we want to be remembered at our funeral? Would we not want people to remember and highlight the good things we had done, and the redeeming qualities of our life and character? Be slow to see the bad in others, and quick to see it in yourself. Be quick to highlight your own faults and slow to highlight others. 

May God help us, like David, to be people of honor and great respect towards all people – especially to those in the faith; to trust God for outcomes and the reputation of others, and to justify us in due time, not by our own strength or manipulation, but by His own mighty power. 

The example of David is so powerful here. I encourage you to speak well of even your worst enemy. Don’t be fake; don’t lie, but be gracious and honorable. Vengeance belongs to God – He will repay. Your enemy, if they truly are in the wrong, will have to pay. How glorious is it, that David spoke well of his enemy, and in the end God exalted him above his foe! 

“Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:20-21)

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

/ Lee A. Robinson / Leave a comment
Sweet Little Johnny

Scripture shows us the way to have consistently happy and cheerfully obedient children. I believe the way mainly involves 3 things: #1 Clear Instructions, #2 Swift & Appropriate Discipline, and #3 Consistency, Consistency, Consistency. The set-up is pretty simple: Give your children crystal clear instructions and expectations. If they do not cheerfully obey, right away (slow obedience is no obedience), then they must be swiftly and appropriately corrected. The Bible’s clear means of correction is corporal punishment; the Biblical terminology is “the rod;” or otherwise known as a good ol’ fashioned spankin.’ And this pattern of clear instruction/swift appropriate discipline must happen every. single. time. Let’s look at these things more closely…  

Step #1 Crystal Clear Instructions 

It’s not always easy to serve God, but it is usually not complex. Certainly our Father only chastises us for things we clearly know that we should not be doing. Following our Lord’s example, we must make our will very clearly known to our children. We must give them crystal clear instructions, such as: “Johnny, pick up your toys and put them in this toy box.” Your tone of voice should be calm, cool and collected. What you instructed was not confusing or too difficult. The outcome is purely a matter of THE WILL – Is Johnny going to submit to your will, or is he going to demand that you submit to his? Johnny may rebel quietly and just look at the floor; he might look at you sweetly and cheerfully say, “No mommy;” he may yell and scream and throw a fit. Regardless of how he disobeys, if he does not immediately, cheerfully submit to your will, then he is in a state of rebellion. This is when we must go to step #2…

Step #2 Swift & Appropriate Discipline

When Johnny chooses to disobey your clear command, it is time for your appearance as Instructor to morph into that of a Judge (while still continuing to be an instructor as well). Johnny crossed the line, is currently in sin (Honor thy father and thy mother), and must be helped out (and stopped). What are we supposed to do? Does the Bible speak about how to penalize a child for disobedience? Let’s first talk about what not to do, then we’ll discuss what we should do. 

First, do not react by raising your voice. The Bible does not instruct us to yell at our kids. If Johnny disobeys your command and your reaction is to raise your voice, so as to threaten him into submission, what have you just done? You have communicated to him that it is acceptable to disobey quiet commands- he should only obey when you are yelling and threatening him. We don’t want that. You have also told him that it is acceptable to disobey, at least once anyway. Yeah, he may have to deal with a little backlash, but other than that he’s good to go. You are also training him that if he does not get his way, that the way to get it is by yelling at people and threatening them. Is this the way you want your child treating other people? Could it be that his fits of rage at Walmart are at least in part an imitation of how you react to him when he is trying to assert his authority over you? 

What usually, unfortunately happens, in scenarios like this one with Johnny? After the initial instruction and disobedience, little Johnny will just repeatedly disobey. Mommy (or Daddy) will keep saying the same command, a whole bunch of times, increasingly getting more and more frustrated and loud. Eventually she gets up, angry, frustrated and now physically does something to Johnny, like picking him up and removing him from the situation. Then Johnny flips out as though he is being assaulted by someone, kicking, screaming, and yelling – as though mommy is the one who is being evil and unreasonable. Then what usually happens is there is some kind of compromise, “Now Johnny, if you do what I ask I’ll give you a snack.” Then to some degree or another there is a compromise. 

Johnny learned, yet again, how many times he can disobey without without mommy doing something to him. If you do this regularly you are training him to disobey that many times. How many times? perhaps 2, 3, 4, 8, 10 times??? What has also happened is that Johnny is completely ruling the roost. He made you completely stop what you were doing to tend to him. He went into an all out tyrannical episode right in your living room, and ended up getting a cookie out of the ordeal. 

Now, what does Scripture tell us we should do?    

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (early, diligently).

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13-14 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. 

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

The Bible is very consistently clear – God’s preferred method of discipline is not yelling; it is not giving them a “time out;” or putting them on drugs; but is rather corporal punishment (physical punishment). Is there any question about that from these passages? 

So, let’s apply this to Johnny’s situation…when Johnny disobeys: calmly, confidently, look him straight into his eyes, tell him that he is sinning against God; that he is in a state of rebellion against you; and that according to God’s command you are going to punish him. Go retrieve your appropriate tool for discipline and apply it to Johnny (I would suggest something that brings stinging power rather than force. The goal is not in any way whatsoever to damage Johnny’s body – a bee sting will go away soon enough, but it will certainly get his attention. Perhaps a switch or something of a similar slender, flexible, but firm composition. Also, since the Bible speaks about “the rod,” I think we would be wise to follow God’s advice: so don’t use your hand. It has been pointed out that our hands should be symbols of comfort for our children, but a rod is a neutral object that they should fear). When you apply the rod correctly it should sting. If it doesn’t actually hurt then what have you accomplished??? Nothing. Well, actually you have – you’ve accomplished communicating to them that sin doesn’t have real consequences, it doesn’t really hurt. “Son, sin may threaten you, but it won’t actually hurt. It may bark at you, but it will never bite.” If it doesn’t hurt, then it is a fake punishment. There needs to be consequences that strike fear. Johnny is not getting punished for making the floor messy with his toys – that kind of problem is easily removed. Rather, he is being punished because he has been mounting a direct assault on the most fundamental authority in his life – his parents. He is a rebel, a tyrant who is resisting his God given authority. This is a serious and high crime. Johnny’s heart should melt and his flesh should sting. He should be crying out in his heart, “I do not want this to happen to me ever again!” Don’t spank a child over his jeans – the spanking is for Johnny, not Johnny’s jeans.  

After you have applied the rod, Johnny should have a submissive spirit. He should be broken and totally obedient and submissive to you. If he is, he will humbly and cheerfully obey your every request, with no resistance – no arguing, no pouting, no murmuring or complaining. There should only be quiet, cheerful submission. If there’s not, then there is still sin present, and the same process needs to happen again, until there is absolute compliance. If you discipline, even if it really stung, and he leaves that encounter still defiant, in any way, then you have failed. His will was not broken. The only reason he obeyed you this time is because you are stronger than he, but that will change. Or, he will walk away plotting how he can still act the same without getting the same consequences.  

Once Johnny regains his composure, this is a wonderful, wonderful moment to bond with him and to teach him the Gospel. Say something like, “Jonathan, I love you very much. I don’t ever want to see you upset, angry, or hurt in your life. You have to understand that when you sin there are consequences. I am doing this because I love you and because I don’t want to see you get hurt by making the wrong choices. I forgive you for what you have done. I love you and no amount of wrong choices will ever make me love you less, or think less of you. You are my Son and nothing will ever change that…Son, you have disobeyed me, but more importantly you have sinned against God. You have disobeyed God and God is committed to punishing sin. Thankfully, Jesus came to suffer for your sins. Your bottom may sting a little right now, but Jesus gave his whole body and soul to be tortured for you. He was suffering God’s wrath for your sins. Johnny, you need to ask God to forgive you for what you have done, so that you are not “spanked” by God in Hell forever. In the same way I love you, God loves you, but you must submit to him, just as you are submitting to me right now.” 

After instructing him, this is a wonderful moment to pray together. Encourage him to pray out loud to God and ask for forgiveness. Lead him in a prayer if he needs it. Then pray for him. Pray that God would help him to be an obedient child and to be joyful in his calling in life and to have God’s strength and help to do it well.

If all of this process is done correctly, you both should emerge from training with a sense of cleansing, freedom, peace and joy. The toys will be quietly and promptly picked up, but much more importantly there will be a stronger bond between you both because your friendship and fellowship has been restored. You will be happy and refreshed and so will he. Before, when Johnny would throw a fit to get his way, did he look happy? Was he really happy? No. True happiness comes from doing what is right. Parent, it is your job to insist that he does do what is right. Purity, justice and following God’s order produces peace and joy. Sin unleashed and not dealt with produces division, anger, and decay.  

#3 Consistency, Consistency, Consistency. 

How many times is it ok for a child to disobey? Not once. Not one time. This verse comes to mind: “For if the word spoken by angels was stedfast, and every transgression and disobedience received a just recompense of reward…” (Hebrews 2:2) God does not play games. He does not give us optional commands. When God tells us to do something, and we do not do it, there is always some kind of negative consequence. If we are to be like God, and love our children, we must consistently give them clear instructions and follow through with them. Johnny knows that you are supposed to spank him if he is disobedient. If you don’t, you are training him that it is ok to disobey God. If he follows your example then he will not obey you. If you tell him, “If you do that one more time, you’re gonna go into the corner,” and do not follow through then you are lying to your child. What motivation does he have when a liar is asking him to do something? 

Is it inconvenient and a bother to have to go through this whole ordeal every time Johnny does something wrong? Yes, it is. But what is your calling in life? Is there anything more important than your kids? Maybe you need to stop playing on your phone so much and pay more attention to your actual responsibility. 

But here’s the really special thing – If you are consistent and you discipline correctly, the amount of times you are going to have to deal with it will be significantly less, or perhaps even non existent. If Johnny knows, from experience, that if he does not cheerfully obey you, submissively, that it is a guarantee that in about 60 seconds his behind is going to feel like a huge bee stung it, how many times do you think Johnny is going to want to disobey? The problem with repetitive disobedience and “fits” is that you have trained him to be rebellious, by consistently allowing it. 

The hardest part is going to be the very beginning. If your child is 3, 4, 5 years old, and you have not insisted on unquestioned obedience and submission, then you are going to be turning his world upside down by following this. Don’t give up. You have to stick with it for days, weeks, months and years. But the major results should be seen within the first instance. 

I hope that something here is helpful to you, and I hope that you enjoy the good fruit of following God’s way in this matter. Please contact me if you would like to discuss these things further.