Christian Home

Blessed Home

/ Lee A. Robinson / Leave a comment

The Blessed Home 

Our homes are our haven, the place we run to when we want to be safe from the world. The home is meant to be the place of rest, where we get refueled to go back out into the world. Therefore, the condition of our homes is of utmost importance. We all want a blessed home; not an average home, and certainly not a cursed home. How does blessing, abundance, joy and prosperity come about – by chance, by fate? Not at all! Blessing is the direct result of our homes being aligned with the will and ways of God. Just like a garden that is well tended will be abundant, so our homes will be blessed if they are well cared for. In this article, I would like to briefly sketch out what a blessed home looks like and how we can position our homes for great blessing.  

The Bible is very clear that blessing is the result of righteousness, whereas a curse is the result of sin. Therefore, a house that has deep, fresh currents of joy and prosperity are ones that underlying everything else, holiness, righteousness and purity are preeminent. The blessed house is above all things a solid, godly, Christian Home. Psalm 127 Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. This means that no matter how hard we try on our own to have a successful home, if God is not pleased, then it’s not going to happen. Is your home a Christian Home? How much of a priority does purity and righteousness hold in your household? 

1 Chronicles 13:14 And the ark of God remained with the family of Obed-edom in his house three months. And the LORD blessed the house of Obed-edom, and all that he had. The ark of God represents the presence of God, specifically a sensitivity to the holiness of God. When a home is sensitive to God, being careful to please Him, the house and everyone and everything in it will be blessed. Is God welcome in your house? Is he at rest there?  

We must be able to say with no reservation, “This is not my house. This is God’s house.” We are simply stewards or managers of God’s house, which he has graciously allowed us to dwell in. We should ask ourselves, “What does he want to do with this house? What does he want to happen in this house? What does he not want in this house?” God must be spoken of often and honored by those who live within. The blessed home is ruled by the authority of the Bible. Bible reading and discussion of how life relates to the Word of God should be frequent. The name of Jesus will be spoken of with sweetness and songs to him will be sung. The blessed home is unashamedly a Christian Home. We should view our homes as little temples, with the man of the house being the chief priest and the woman his assistant. 

Great care should be taken to rid the home of idolatry in every way possible. Little children, keep yourselves from idols (1 John 5:21). Obviously anything that is related to the occult or vestiges from other gods should be avoided: such as statues, icons or materials that are used in the worship of other gods. As Christians we are not superstitious: there is only one god that is living. However, we are not ignorant of the fact that demons are associated with the worship of certain things. So if we have materials used in our homes that are used in worship of other gods we are inviting demons and evil unclean spirits to our house.       

A blessed house is also a happy house. The people who live in it are inviting to one another, sweet, patient and have a servant’s heart. A blessed home is where the Holy Spirit is working out in the hearts and lives of the people who live inside. Conflicts are inevitable, but they are discussed and resolved swiftly and with fairness.  

A blessed house is a healthy house: spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc. It is a place that encourages growth and flourishing in every way. A place that desires the best for each and every person who resides there and only comes for a visit. 

The home is like a garden. A garden that is well maintained is beautiful, pleasant and yields an abundance of healthy fruits and herbs that bring life and healing to people – the home is the same way. A blessed garden needs to be well planned out, watered daily and fed when it needs it, positioned to get the right amount of sun, guarded from predators, and in the end patience for God to give the increase. We can apply these same principles to our home life. As gardeners of our homes we must make sure that our home is well maintained. It must be a stable home – a good garden is settled and rooted. There must be a settledness in the people that this is where they belong. There must be regular watering and feeding: the people inside must be fed with love, relationship and communication. We must guard our homes from allowing any predators to enter in – any voices from people or media who will be negative voices encouraging sin or fostering distrust or rebellion. We must watch over our homes vigilantly. Yes, blessing ultimately comes from God, but we must do our part to keep out of it anything that will ruin it.  

For the home to be blessed like a well tended garden, it must be saturated in the Word of God: Psalm 1 “But his delight is in the law of the LORD; And in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, That bringeth forth his fruit in his season; His leaf also shall not wither; And whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.” The Word of God is powerful. It gives us the instruction we need for how to run a thriving home, but it also carries with it the power to enable us to do so.  

Deuteronomy 6 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: and thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and upon thy gates. 

God wanted his people so identified with his Word that it would be as though it was written on their hands and on their foreheads. Think about how obvious a tattoo on someone’s forehead is. This is how obvious it should be to others that we love the Word of God and identify with it. 

The Word of God is the root of a blessed house, and the Spirit of God is the fruit. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance, against such there is no law. Galatians 5. Each member of the family carries the responsibility to yield themselves to the prompting of the Spirit instead of to the flesh. Our hearts are like spiritual weed producing factories. We must daily root out those temptations to be selfish, and tend to those mindsets and attitudes that produce the kinds of fruits mentioned here. 
Matthew 6. A Prayer for our homes. Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name (make your Name to be hallowed, set apart in this place). Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven (as people come into this home, may they feel as though they stepped into heaven). Give us this day our daily bread (provide all that this household needs to survive and thrive. Give contentment). And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors (grant that a spirit of peacemaking happen in this place. Swift and willing reconciliation). And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil (make this a house of purity and holiness. Guard this place from unclean spirits and surround it with your holy angels). For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever, amen (may this house bring much glory to the name of Jesus Christ, through everything done here and everyone that lives here). Amen.

Cheerful Children

/ Lee A. Robinson / Leave a comment

How to develop and keep consistently cheerful & content children. 

Our homes are meant to be happy places. The addition of children is only supposed to make it even more happy. Children really are amazing – they are cute, creative and funny in ways that adults have just forgotten how to be. God’s will for our homes is that they would be filled with a consistent atmosphere of joy and contentment. We cannot expect perfection from the kids: we live in a fallen world and we would be demanding them to be something that we ourselves fail to be. However, we should expect that our children receive their rightful place, which is to be gladly obedient and under submission. Their role is to be a good-natured citizen of the home – a joyful participant – not a tyrannical, fit-throwing dictator. If this is God’s design and desire, then it is possible (with God’s grace and practical, Biblical wisdom) to develop these traits consistently in them. We will look at two ways to achieve this goal… 

  1. Insistent, Persistent & Consistent Discipline. 
  2. Modeling Cheerfulness & Humility. 

Discipline

Children do not come into the world angels; neither are they demons; but kinda somewhere in between. They are made in our image – meaning they got some work to do. Children arrive to the world morally deformed and corrupt needing reformation and correction. Psalm 58:3 says “The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.” Psalm 51:5 David says, “Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.” Ephesians 2:3 tells us that those cute little bundles are “by nature children of wrath.” Children come into the world very needy: they need love, comfort; they need to be fed, changed and played with – but they are also in desperate need of correction & discipline. If they have a poopy diaper, are overtired or miss a meal they will not be content and cheerful; but neither will they be content and cheerful if they go without much needed rebukes and spankin’s. 

Discipline by definition is the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior: using punishment to correct disobedience and rewards to praise obedience. Children can be trained. In fact, they are always being trained – every day – the code of behavior (the culture of their home) is being instilled in them. The question though is: which code of behavior are they being trained to follow? Are they being trained to obey or disobey? Children will not naturally grow into patient, submissive, quiet, cheerful creatures. That kind is possible, but it requires dedicated training on the part of the parent. Like anything in this world that we want to work seamlessly, parenting requires focused and faithful attention. A conditioned athlete cannot miss practices and fudge their healthy eating routine. Neither will a child become conditioned to joy if parents regularly skip moments of training. So, we need to train our children to obey. How do we do this? Three key elements are being insistent, persistent and consistent in our discipline. 

 Insistent. The first thing we need to do in training is to give our children crystal clear instructions. There must be no confusion with either parent or child about what the rules are. For example:  

  • How many times is it acceptable to disobey mommy or daddy? 
  • What kind of attitude is required when we obey?
  • Must the children obey immediately, or can they take their time and obey when their schedule permits?  
  • What is the consequence for disobedience?
  • Is everyone on the same page here???

It should go without saying, but we will say it anyhow – that it is the parents who should be making the rules, not the children. And this being the case – it is also the parents responsibility to make sure that everyone keeps the rules – EVERY TIME. So, right now, in your home life, how many times is it ok for your child to disobey? The only right answer should be zero. If that is your rule as a parent – are you keeping the rules by ensuring that every single time they are disobedient they receive the appropriate consequence? If not, then are you not training your children to be disobedient? If you don’t keep the rules, then why should they? The only correct posture for a parent to assume is that of insistence. We must demand that our children (God’s children that we are responsible for) do the right thing. Refusing to obey, mocking, throwing fits, laughing, running away, screaming and damaging things are not acceptable. If you allow your children to do any of these, and you allow them to consistently do these things, then you are training your children to be discontent and unhappy. Every single time there is disobedience, there needs to be a fitting consequence. So, what is the Biblical method of correction? Hint: it is not giving them a cookie or privileging them with watching a movie.  

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (early, diligently).

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13-14 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. 

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

The Bible is very, very consistently clear – The Biblically prescribed method of discipline is not yelling; it is not giving them a “time out;” or putting them on drugs; but is rather corporal punishment (physical punishment): the Rod. Whatever tool you use, it is understood that force needs to be appropriate to the age and physical constitution of the child. Our goal is not to damage or abuse the child; but the rod is not accomplishing its purpose if it does not hurt. A more precise goal is that we are looking for it to sting. Spanking on the butt is a great place, since it is tender, but also well padded. And also, instinct just seems to point us in that direction for some reason.  

So, here we go. The child knows the rules. You know the rules. Dad or Mom gives a simple command, the child obeys quickly and cheerfully and everyone stays happy. Or, the child disobeys: he or she does not swiftly and cheerfully obey. Dad or Mom removes the child from the situation to a private location, and said child receives an appropriate “bee sting” for being foolish. Which leads us to the next element of effective discipline: persistence. 

This is a very important moment in the correction process. It can make or break your whole effort. What do you do, as a parent, if you are in the “correction room,” in the very act of administering corporal punishment, and your child is still breaking the rules: not being submissive; not being completely obedient to you? What are you to do? Well, what are the rules? If they are not cheerfully obedient, every single time – including, and especially including now – then they need a few more “bee stings” in the bee-hind. Disobedience has not been fully dealt with until there is 100%, absolute, cheerful submission. The self-will of the child must be broken and surrendered to the supreme-will of the parent. There should be no bad attitude; zero hesitation to comply; If they are old enough there needs to be verbal apologies. If this is done correctly: parent and child will both emerge from the correction chamber cheerful, settled and at peace. A sense of purity, righteousness and reconciliation should fill the air. The parent should have total confidence that they are in absolute control of the house and the child. 

Now, if this is done, and done consistently, the good news is that the child will be conditioned with the mindset that their parents don’t play games. What is the result? They are going to more consistently keep the rules, because who likes bee-stings? And what are the rules? If I am happy and submissive then mommy is happy.

The third key element in effective discipline has already been alluded to several times: the all important practice of being consistent. Parenting is a full time job and a primary job. If there is anything more important to you than your child’s welfare, then your priorities are mixed up. And part of their welfare is getting an attitude change as much as a diaper change. Take the time to deal with their disobedience now, or else you will be forced to deal with their disobedience later (and it will take more time and energy later). The happiness and contentment of your child will largely depend on how consistent you are in discipline. If it is occasional their cheerfulness will be occasional; if it is sporadic, then you are communicating to your child that they are not that important; they are not worthy of continual care. But if you are diligent; if you raise the standard to happiness, and keep the bar there, then that’s most likely where they will live. There should not be one time when your child is ruling the roost. They will attempt a run on your rightful authority at times, but that needs to be nipped in the bud.  

Having covered the process of insistent, persistent and consistent discipline. We will conclude with an encouragement to model cheerfulness & humility to our children. Most things are better caught than taught. Children are very impressionable. If you are gentle and cheerful (combined with giving them consistent and godly discipline), chances are – they will be too. If you yell at your kids while givin’ them a whoopin’, or instead of givin’ them a whoopin’, then you are not keeping the rules and it would be good for them to see you apologize for doing wrong. If you fail to correct and punish them for wrongdoing, it would also do them good for you to apologize for that. Children respond better to action than anger. If you are frustrated with your children (which is probably due to you not training them properly) and you react to them in an unkind way, then they are probably going to react to you and others in unkind ways. Paul tells us to provoke not our children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4) We are to rear them up in the same way that the Lord rears us. Our Father is strict, but he is also lenient, kind and merciful. He is firm, but gentle. He always responds to our disobedience, but does not weigh us down with burdens too hard to bear. Children are childish, we must remember that; just as our Father knows our frame and remembers that we are dust. We should pity our children as God pities us. Reassure them that you love them, that you forgive them, and that you understand that it is hard to be a child. Make sure they know that you are sorry for not being a perfect parent: for the times when you are too hard, and for the times when you are too soft. Hate disobedience in them and hate it also in yourself. Be as eager to vanquish wrongdoing in yourself – in this parent-child relationship – as much as you are to vanquish it in them. Discontentment and disobedience is from the Devil, so don’t let him in your home. 

No one wants a child who could at any moment blow up and completely change the family plans. If we follow God’s wisdom in this area, we will enjoy God’s blessing in this area: Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul. (Proverbs 29:17)